Establishing Credibility and Rapport with Consulting Clients

The Ability

I modeled three women who consistently demonstrate the ability to establish credibility and rapport with clients. Each of these women does non-traditional (primarily NLP-based) coaching and consulting work with traditional corporate clients, both men and women. This ability is important when the client is making any kind of decision that involves the consultant's work, including engagement, seeking/accepting advice, sharing information, committing to a course of action, referral, etc.

This ability promotes high quality communication between consultant and client that can lead to:

· faster, more accurate diagnosis of "real" client issues

· elegant solutions based on identifying "the difference that makes the difference"

· full participation by the client in the solution

· greater ability to understand and influence the client's thinking

 Exemplars

Each of the three exemplars is a self-employed business consultant and has been engaged in her work for 15 years or more. All three have extensive NLP training. Two of the exemplars are based in the U.S., one in Canada.

Exemplar A is a whole-system change consultant for large corporations, and municipal entities such as school systems. Exemplar B coaches high potential corporate managers and executives. She also trains coaches. Exemplar C assists companies in influencing targeted audiences through precise communication strategies and tools. She is also a trainer, keynote speaker, and columnist.

Beliefs Criterial Equivalence

The core Criterion is "Relationship". Relationship means a mutually beneficial fit between the client's needs and the consultant's ability and desire to meet them. Establishing a mutually beneficial fit aligns the interests, skills, and expectations of client and consultant. This increases the probability of a successful project outcome. Also, it explicitly contradicts the more avaricious consulting image some have likened to the "oldest profession", and therefore opens a door to developing credibility and trust.

Enabling Cause-Effects

In order to establish relationship, the consultant must see that the client has a genuine need and the motivation to address it. Often this means the client is in pain. Exemplar A looks for "sufficient amperage", believing that the greater the pain the more receptive the client will be to creativity and risk-taking. Exemplar B looks for motivation based on her belief that change must be voluntary. Exemplar C looks for need and willingness to open up.

Also important is the consultant's belief that she has abilities that can make a difference. Without the requisite skills and knowledge, they cannot achieve mutually beneficial fit.

Finally, the exemplars needed to see that whether or not they establish a relationship with a client is their choice. For example, before pursuing an engagement each exemplar assesses whether she wants the work. The assessment is based first on who she is working with (e.g. motivation, risk appetite), then the nature of the task. Where they do not see a sufficient fit, each is quick to refer the client to other resources. Often that increases the desire of the client to work with her!

All three exemplars have strategies to not just assess, but incite motivation provided it is ecological to do so. This often entails facilitating a shift in the client's perceptual position. For example, Exemplar B will find a way early on for the client to step from Observer position back into his/her own body to feel the pain of the situation. Exemplar A will reflect back what's she's hearing from the client, which she calls "holding up a mirror", to help him/her see the situation as others may see it.

Motivating Cause-Effects

Relationship is the "difference that makes a difference". It makes possible attaining that which is important to them, which is somewhat different for each exemplar. For Exemplar A, the relationship must exist in order for her to make a big difference. Exemplar B sees the coaching relationship as one way she shows up in service in the world to contribute to global transformation. And Exemplar C sees relationship as a prerequisite to accomplishing work successfully with the client.

Surrounding Beliefs

1. Time and energy are precious. All three exemplars respect the time and energy invested by their clients and themselves. This supports their belief that they only dedicate their resources where they see a mutually beneficial fit, and refer the client elsewhere if they don't. Exemplar A talked about "being a laser, not a light bulb".

2. It's okay to say "No". All three exemplars attract high fees, and have turned down lucrative work that wasn't a mutually beneficial fit.

3. Yin is more effective than Yang. The exemplars use more of the feminine (Yin) archetype of attraction and subtlety; less of the masculine (Yang) archetype of action and self-assertion. This is not necessarily related to the gender of the consultant or the client, but rather the predominant archetypal behaviors they demonstrate. Exemplar B believes she attracts the work she's meant to do. Exemplar C works to be a magnet and talks about relationship as "mutual attraction". This has nothing to do with sexual attraction, in fact one exemplar intentionally sends androgenous signals so that gender doesn't distract.

4. Pain is a more compelling motivator for change than pleasure. All three exemplars acknowledged that clients engage them to help remove obstacles and solve problems, not to set or reach goals.

Strategies Test

The tests for establishing relationship are "The client feels safe" and "I feel congruent". Both are necessary. Specific sensory evidence includes:

· I see, feel we're in physical rapport

· I feel alert and interested

· Client demonstrates vulnerability, takes risk with me (e.g. talks a lot, opens up)

· Sensory data is congruent; any incongruence "makes sense" given the issues

Primary Operation

1. Prepare. This includes gathering and analyzing data on the industry, company, issues, and individuals the consultant will meet and work with. Exemplar A gives the client "homework" before the first meeting if needed to enhance readiness. Exemplar B meditates on the client before the first meeting. Exemplar C researches the client through contacts and/or web site.

2. Calibrate, pace, and lead. The exemplars pay exquisite attention to sensory cues, scan for patterns, match physiology, listen for and match criteria, and future pace. For example, all three dress intentionally, but not the same. Exemplar A mismatches formal business attire, which "matches" her focus on change work and risk-taking. Exemplars B and C dress to match the client's environment.

3. Manage my state. Each exemplar works in her own way to maintain a resourceful state throughout each interaction with the client. They check in frequently with how they are feeling - boredom is an indication of poor fit. Exemplar B assumes the client wants her to be credible and has some questions.

4. Set well-formed outcomes with the client. Generally a re-statement of the client need, this involves establishing positively stated, ecological objectives of manageable chunk size. All three exemplars suspend judgment and let go of their own personal attachment to outcome.

5. Test for fit. Here the exemplars test the client's readiness to act. Exemplar B briefly models the process to give the client an experience of what the work will be like. Exemplar A completes the process by holding up the mirror ("here's the deal") and calibrating the client's reaction.

 Secondary Operations

When Relationship has not been sufficiently established… they use the same steps as the Primary Operation, but alter the content. For example, they might add or reduce structure, change logical levels, or create a mini-experience, then re-do mirror test.

When Relationship hasn't been established at all… they call a "time out" with the client. This may be a question ("Are you getting anything out of this?", "Any concerns?", "I'm sensing hesitation - tell me about it.") or suggestion. Exemplar A gives the client a list of things they can do to get ready for her or another consultant. The responses to these actions determine whether the consultant returns to the Primary Operation, or determines that Establishing Relationship is not possible.

When establishing Relationship seems impossible… explain why the consultant is not a good fit, direct to other resources, and terminate.

Emotions Sustaining Emotion

The sustaining emotions were different for each exemplar, but similar in that they were intensely experienced. Exemplar A feels dogged persistence, Exemplar B feels calm, quiet excitement, and Exemplar C feels attraction and desire.

The shared signal emotions were a sense of skepticism, frustration, boredom and anxiety followed by curiosity, hope, and determination to "figure it out". The shift from negative emotions to curiosity happens when the consultant lets go of attachment to outcome.

It appears that the intensity of the sustaining emotion carries each exemplar through the peaks and valleys of the signal emotions. And, the circular pattern of the signal emotions supports the ability of the exemplars to repeatedly revisit an issue with fresh approaches and ideas.

External Behavior

These demonstrate how the exemplars put the Primary Operation into operation. All of the exemplars used nearly all of these behaviors.

1. Do research on the client - content and context of the situation.

2. Get to know client and let client know something about me (model vulnerability).

3. Tell stories, provoke mismatch, push back ("maybe this isn't a good idea").

4. Intentionally code discussion in process or business language, as appropriate. Exemplar A uses process language as a Primary Operation, moving to specific language of the business as Secondary.

5. Ask and answer basic contracting questions (e.g. from Peter Block, author of Flawless Consulting).

6. Use "meta-moves" (reframing tools to assess and help unstick client's behavioral patterns), especially timelines to see if they learn from past experience.

7. Create a menu of possible approaches, solutions - give the client a choice.

8. Do spatial sorting (geography and gestures).

9. Run scenarios: future stories about the company to assess the gap.

10. Identify and make sense of patterns.

11. Look, sound, and feel unthreatening - "move through a room unseen".

12. Use humor. Laugh.

13. Experiential acting out/role play.

14. Find a way to add value right away.

15. Arrange room setup so it's comfortable (seating, temperature, etc.)

16. Test hypotheses and get feedback.

17. Avoid power struggles by going with the client's energy (as in aikido).

Contributing Factors

All three exemplars create safety by making sure the client experiences the process as confidential and voluntary. For example, Exemplar B creates "freedom through collusion" - she helps the client get his/her desired outcome even if that differs from the organization's stated outcome.

Significant Elements

The essential elements in this model are the Relationship criterion, its definition, and the test. For these exemplars, the ability is not about "getting the sale". The sale may or may not be the natural result of establishing relationship. Said another way, Relationship happens on the playing field, while "the sale" is what gets posted on the scoreboard.

Ecological Concerns

The key ecology issue I've identified is the risk that a consultant is unable to let go of his/her attachment to outcome. Holding on to one's own idea of the "right" outcome at best limits the possible solutions for the client, and at worst commits the client to a course of action that will fail. Also important is the consultant's ability to accurately assess her abilities and skill level, and appropriately match these with the Client's needs.

Acquisition